Well, this place just aint too bad at all. Over the past couple weeks I’ve met and been introduced to more fillies then I know what to do with. I’m exhausted. It would seem there’s no end to the fine looking women here in Roundabout Corners and, more importantly, they all seem lonely. And, to be honest, it’s getting a bit weird. Let me give you a fore instance.
Met Jan Tellerman the other day and another Brandi. They were both out walking by my house. Brandi headed on home but Jan sure did seem interested in me. We talked for a long time and then I just happened to mention getting some lunch. We headed over to the 50’s diner that I like so much. Every female in the place was looking at me. When Jan went over to our table one of the customers just walked up and introduced herself to me. She then took a table nearby and took turns between staring and winking at me.
Jan just took it in good stride and proceeded to talk to me about all sorts of weirdo mystical stuff. I wondered if she might be one of them witchey-types. They’re usually a good time up until they start summoning stuff. Anyway, we made a whole afternoon of it and then, a’fore we know it, evening was coming on fast.
Thought I was having a good run of it too cause I asked her if she wanted to come on back to the house and have one of my world famous hot dogs. That alone usually gets me slapped.
Heck, she said, “yes.” So, we came on back and then I was surprised cause she just passed out on me, right there on the back porch.
I tried to wake her up but she wasn’t having it. Heck, I aint gonna be no nanny for a full grown woman. I went to bed.
Wouldn’t you know it? She was still there, face down in her plate, when I woke up the next morning. Enough was enough and I sent her packing with some ice water and a boot to the backside.
She just laughed it off and told me she’d call me this weekend!
Just going around town I’m running into all sorts of ladies. I take a taxi, the driver’s a woman and chats me up.
The bartender wants to talk to me. I thought that was supposed to be the other way around?
I get a pizza delivered and the delivery girl says I’m cute.
Heck, I even had two teenage girls stop by my place. I thought it would be ok to let ’em hang out, watch some TV. Then, a third one showed up and before I knew it, I had some sort of Oprah induced nightmare going on. I kicked em out the minute they started talking about cleaning my place.
The problem with all of this? None of ’em are interesting. Not a one of appears to be, “Mrs. T-Dog,” ya know what I mean? I probably met close to twenty different women and not a one of them is somebody who I could stand to be with longer than half a day. No sparks, no nothing. They’re all kinda, well, normal.
Well, that ain’t true. There’s Kari. I can spend a day with her. She’s feisty which is fun but there still aint no chemistry.
I just can’t seem to meet a woman who matches up to me. All they wanna talk about is mystical stuff, shopping, or the weather. Well, either that or all they wanna do is get me in the sack.
What’s a guy like me to do?
The only plus side is that sometimes, downtown at night, there some of those grey-skinned vampire types. I like ’em cause they’re fun to pick on. Seems that not a one of ’em can take a joke…
(Game note: It’s so very true. In a quest to find someone to hitch T-Dog to I have been unable to find anyone that is more than a one bolt rating. He’s too poor to consult the matchmaker and the only person he has a chemistry with is Kari at one bolt. One other thing is true too. It’s fun to make fun of vampires.)